Telling Kids about Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes.

Preparing to break the news to your kids that youre divorcing their other parent? Feeling insecure about how to broach the subject? Wondering how much to share? How your children will react? How to handle their questions? How to deal with your special circumstances? What the experts suggest? Well youre not alone.

Here are the mistakes most commonly made by parents. Be sure you dont add stress to your childrens lives by making these errors.

* Asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides. Children love both parents naturally and feel guilty when being asked to make choices. Make those choices for them.

* Neglecting to tell your kids that they are not at fault. Dont assume your children understand that they are victims in your divorce. Remind them frequently that they bare no blame in any way related to your divorce.

* Confiding adult details to children so as to attract their allegiance or sympathy. Kids are confused and burdened by this complex emotional information. Share it with your friends or professional counselors, not with your children.

The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.

Dont underestimate how seriously your children will be impacted by this news. Speak gently and will love. Avoid the pitfalls that make a tough conversation even tougher on your kids. With care and consideration you can set the stage for a positive future for both you and your children.

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